To some, it's an answered prayer. To others, it's a word of hurt and loss. I don't like the fact that some people have such negative thoughts about adoption. Why? Because it's who I am. Someone saying something bad about adoption is basically saying something bad about me. I read something recently that said adopted children have "mental problems". (Ok it didn't say "mental problems" per say, but it alluded to it). Hmmmmmm.....I don't feel crazy. In fact, I feel I'm highly intelligent. My brothers are well rounded and intelligent as well. I didn't like reading that comment. But the woman who wrote it was a birth mom, a very hurt birth mom.
There is a problem in adoption that I don't like. Adoptive parents not keeping their promises and birth parents not keeping theirs. I also read recently about an adoptive parent that did not keep her promise to their birth mom. But after a few years and becoming more educated about adoption, realized she was wrong. I understand that people make mistakes. We should forgive despite the hurt we feel. But when birth parents and adoptive parents refuse to keep their promises to each other, I don't like that. Adoption is about compromise. It's doing whats best for ALL parties, not just one or the other. Most of all, it's about doing what's best for the child.
One more problem in adoption...
There was a time when birth mothers were forced in placing their children. These women are hurt and often these are the women that talk bad about adoption. I can feel their pain. To be forced into such a life changing decision, against what you feel, is very wrong. Their hurt is understandable. But do I think they should bad mouth ALL adoptions? No. That's like saying all one religion or race is bad, just because you had a bad experience with something. For example, I had an AMAZING experience getting an epidural when I was in labor. My sister in law did not have a good experience. Ask us both about epidurals, and we will give you two sides. Does it mean that EVERY SINGLE epidural turns out horrible?? No. Just two different experiences.
Adoption is a touchy subject. I wish there was nothing but good when it comes to adoption. Shame on people that have no experience in adoption, yet still feel the need to bad mouth it. Shame on you! Adoption should be a beautiful thing and when people bad mouth it, they take some of that beauty away.
Adoption is different to many people. I can only tell you my experience. You may have had a bad one, and for that I'm truly sorry. Adoption should not be bad. It should be one of sacrifice, love, hope and courage.
Adoptive parents, I have so much respect for you. Most adoptive parents have struggled with infertility or they are infertile. The pain you must have felt to find out your body turned against you. My heart aches for you. After you have grieved, you find a new found hope; adoption.
Birth parents, especially birth moms, oh how I love you. I know exactly how you feel. The sacrifice you made for the one you love, the pain of letting go. I have been there, and I have cried with you.
Adopted children. You are very loved. I feel the extra love. I had a birth mother thinking of my everyday for 22 years before I even met her. It was an awesome feeling knowing I had a set of extra people rooting for me. You are special and loved by so many.
Adoption has made me who I am, and for that, I am grateful.