Thursday, August 19, 2010

6 months?

At my appointment last Thursday, the doctor did another ultrasound for me and we got to see our baby girl again. We actually got a genital shot this time, though not a good one because she likes to move around so much. We got a shot of her sucking her thumb! So cute. But according to my last period, which is what they like to go off of, since they don't know exact time of conception, I should be 22 weeks 1 day today. Well, last Thursday at my appointment, my uterus was measuring 22 weeks, which would put me at 23 weeks today, or 6 months. Since I'm only 6 days ahead, they won't change my due date. But I have measured 6 days ahead every single time. SOOO....I should be 6 months today according to my measurements. So I'm kinda changing my due date on my own, which would change it from 12/22 to 12/16. I'm POSITIVE I won't go till December 22n. I have now POSITIVE that I ovulated early.

So, other then that, everythings great. I'm still tired, but I blame that on the heat. When I was pregnant with my birth son, I had severe foot pain from swelling just on the bottom of my feet, and I'm getting it again and I'm popping tums like candy, but I LOVE IT! I love being pregnant.

Side note: Sean and I started back up to work. We both work at a high school with the special needs students. Work could also be causing me to be tired. Working with 17 severe special needs students and pushing one around in a wheelchair all day can really take a toll. But we love our jobs. Sean started taking classes at University of Phoenix! YAY! I'm so proud of him. And my classes start back up in a little over a week. Only 14 more units for me! I can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel! =)

Sorry these are so crooked. They scanned that way and I didn't feel like rescanning them.

Our little thumb sucker!

It's really hard to tell what you are looking at, but if you look closely, you can tell she's still a girl!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Happy birthday to the boy that changed my life..

4 years ago today, I gave birth to my birth son. Could 4 years have really already passed? It seems quite impossible, but it's not. I look how my life has changed and grown in the last 4 years and I am astonished. Last night I was talking to Sean about my little guy and as we were talking, it hit me. Even though I was not living my life how I should of, if I could go back in time, I would not change a thing. Does that seem crazy?? Crazy to put myself through that all over again? Am I a masochist?

To answer all of those questions; No

The reason I would do it all again, pain and all, is because it changed my life. For the better. I learned to be unselfish. I learned the type of love the Savior has for us, pure. I learned the true meaning of the atonement because I actually got to truly use it. I learned that no matter what life throws at me, I can handle it because I have already dealt with the greatest type of pain. I learned that I will be a great mother, because I was able to give my "first" child the best, even though I couldn't give it to him. At the time of placement, all a birth mothers reasoning for doing what she is doing points to the child. Most of us do it for them, not ourselves. But as time passes, the lessons that you learn and the blessings you receive are unmistakable. I am so grateful to this little boy. I'm glad he chose me as his vessel to get to earth. He really did help change my life. I never thought something so small, such as a newborn baby, could have such an impact.

So, happy birthday to the sweetest little boy on the face of the earth. You don't know this now, but you changed my life. You don't remember this, but the day you were born, there were angels around us. Angels helping comfort me and angels getting you to your family. You are very special. NEVER forget that. The feelings I felt 4 years ago are indescribable and they are so sacred and special to me. I love you little guy.

The first time they placed in him my arms. The spirit that was felt at that time was undescribable. The angels must have already been among us.