Saturday, March 20, 2010


I will finally have all the boxes unpacked in our house.
Our new home will be perfect.
I will finally be finished with school.
I will lose these 10 extra pounds that seem to love my body WAY too much.
I will be a mother.
But as for today.....
We are going to Cancun(technically not till tomorrow though, because our flight is at 2:40 am! yuck. But we are leaving for the airport tonight). People think we are crazy for traveling so much and I have even had a few "not so nice" remarks. But until certain things change in our lives, we are going to continue to travel. And for all the envious people out there, just remember, you may have something I'm envious of too. So..that being said. ADIOS!

Friday, March 5, 2010

I won! But can I love it??

Me and 2010 are having a love/hate relationship. I'm an emotional wreck at times and other times I can't stop the over whelming feeling that I'm so blessed. In 3 short months of 2010, I have experienced good and bad on both ends. But, despite our recent loss, the blessings keep pouring in.
I am an avid reader of the r house. If you haven't been to mrs. r's blog, you must! She is an adoption advocate and has the 2 most adorable little boys. I don't know mrs. r personally, but I have cried and laughed right along with her as she experienced the ups and downs of adoption. . Mrs. r and some friends make beautiful adoption jewelry. I have wanted one of her necklaces so bad, but funds were tight with the whole house going through. She posted a giveaway for one of her necklaces.She told of how her family motto for 2009 was "come what may". That's difficult in itself. Can I really just accept everything that is coming my way? Her new motto for 2010 is "come what may and love it". That's even harder. Accepting is one thing, but loving it? I don't know.
So, in her giveaway, she asked what part people were at in their lives. The "come what may" or the "come what may and love it". I entered that I was just in the "come what may." Well.....I WON!!! I don't hardly ever win anything. I am so excited. Mrs. r is going to send me this beautiful necklace.

And when I'm ready to love it, she will send me this one.

Thank you again mrs. r for truly making my week. I have accepted my situation. I have grieved the loss of 3 babies.(yes one is still very well alive and breathing, but I still grieved) But I do not love my situation. I'm hoping this necklace can give me some kind of super power. Super power to fight off tears when I see a pregnant lady or a baby. Fight off the negativeness that sometimes creeps in. This necklace is another blessing in my life. It may seem nonchalant to the rest of the world, but to me, it's special and I will forever treasure it. And I hope one day, I can learn to love it.