Poetry and Grief

Grief is a part of being a birth mother. I went through all the stages of grief. While I was in my darkest hours, something that helped was writing poetry. To this day, if I read a poem I wrote during that time, I break down. Because I all to clearly, remember the grief behind it. While going through our filing cabinet today, I decided to look through our folder labeled "adoption", which contains my relinquishment papers, cards from friends, adoption pamphlets and some of my poetry. My first mothers day after "J" was born, was particularly hard. I called "J"s mom just to see how he was doing. Of course his mom was so sweet and understanding. Well, apparently I wrote "J"s mom a mothers day poem that first mothers day, but I never sent it to her! It was a rough draft that I wrote and I don't know why I didn't send it, but I wanted to share it with you.

We are two different women
Living miles apart
but the same little boy
stole our heart.
You were praying for a child
the chance to be called mother.
I was praying for an answer
if to give my child to another.
Now you are a mommy
on your first Mothers Day.
Now I am a birth mom
and will celebrate in a different way.
We are both mommy's
to our little boy
Being two different mommy's
Brings us both great joy.
For you will raise him in your home
with such great love and care.
I will raise him in my heart
For he will forever reside there.
As we celebrate, our first Mothers Day,
We can both thank motherhood
for helping us find our way.