Wednesday, September 19, 2012

FYI.....I'm "Perfect"

Life just seems to be slipping through my fingers. I tell myself that I want to keep this online journal and yet somehow laundry or dishes always wins the battle over blogging. But for some time now I've wanted to blog about why I initially stopped blogging for 10 months. There were many reasons after the first incident, but the first was big enough to make me almost walk away for good.

So, there is this person, I'm not even going to say if they are male or female or give any indication who this horrible person is. I know that is mean to say, but it's the truth. If you, horrible person, for some reason read this, then good, you know who you are.

Moving on......

So, this person, who I know, after months of them being rude to me, amongst other things, somehow found my blog. I do know that even though my facebook is private, I leave my blog address up so that others can learn about my adoption experiences. My post, over a year ago, where I talk about "C"'s 5th birthday, this person read that and decided to attack me about it on Facebook. The Facebook status went somewhere along the lines of, "Don't you hate when someone thinks they are so perfect, but then give their kid away, just so they can get married and have another kid and have a perfect life. That is so selfish."

Ummmm....excuse me....what? I'm a Christ like person now. I've turned my life around and I don't act the way I used too. But I've gotten in quite a few fights in my past and have a great right hook. I was so upset, I was ready to have a beat down! Placing "C" is something so special to me, and for this person to tarnish that because of their jealous issues just sent me over the edge. I had some of my amazing friends who had my back, but this person tried to play it off like their were getting information for a college class. My friends and I aren't stupid. And this person continued to say how selfish it was for this birth mom to give up their baby just so they could get married. Yes, I got married after I placed "C" and had another child. Should I have not? So, it was selfish of me to cry everyday for the first year? It was selfish that I wanted my birth son to have a mother AND a father at birth? It was selfish that I didn't want him raised by a father, who wouldn't have been there and who had been in and out of jail? Then golly......I guess I'm selfish.

What I soon realized, was that this person thought they found some dirt on me and were trying to make others agree that it was "selfish". Whats funny's OBVIOUSLY no secret!! And no one agreed with this person!! And my wonderful and amazing friends brought my a HUGE bouquet of flowers to my house the next day and some In-N-Out. (yes my friends are amazing). I was still pretty upset and occasionally daydreamed of punching this person in the face, but I would just say a pray and try to ask our Father in Heaven for peace. And whats funny about this person saying that I think I'm perfect,  I want to pattern my life after the Saviors, and He is perfect. So, in a way, I was receiving a compliment from this person.

I do not regret the decision that I made. "C" is were he is suppose to be. And while I know that some people think they can tare me down by trying to tell me that I'm selfish and I think I'm perfect, well they can't. My decision to place "C" was 100% for him, not for me. And thank you person for thinking that I'm perfect and have the perfect life, because I do!! I have a wonderful and handsome husband and we are SOOO in love. I have a beautiful daughter, who is the light of my life. I have a handsome and well adjusted birth son, who saved my life and taught me about sacrifice. I have a great relationship with my Father in Heaven and with Jesus Christ. So, life is perfect....thanks for noticing! Again, just to clarify, no ones life is really perfect, but it's nice that someone noticed that I'm trying to be more Christ-like. (hehe)

After the dust settled and I finally got over being so upset, that thing called life got in my way again and that's why blogging has been sparse. But I've gotten over it and I really feel sorry for this person. They have a sad sad life. And it's a shame that instead of trying to build people up, they are trying to tare them down.

So, now you know the reason I intially stopped blogging. But I'm back now and I will continue to live my "perfect" and "selfish" life!

                                                 And for your viewing pleasure
                     My "perfect" family went to Disneyland! It was Brielle's first time!


Melanie said...

In my mind, second to dieing for someone, placing a beautiful baby for adoption, allowing them the opportunity to have a mother AND a father. is the greatest act of selflessness and love we can do in this life.
I had NO idea that others didn't feel the same way until some enlightening posts on Lindsy Redfern's blog. Shame on any of us for thinking we know better than the Lord, or you what is best in your life.
I met you long ago, before you even got pregnant with "c", and I am so impressed with you and what you have done with your life. Keep your chin up girl!!

Sean and Sierra said...

Thanks Melanie. Even my own husband has a different view of birth moms before he met me. But he said that I completely changed his mind. The whole reason I started blogging about my experience was to help others understand adoption and birth moms. =)

The Fergy Bunch said...

So sad that someone feels that unhappy inside and obviously threatned by your happiness. I hope this person is no longer a problem for you and that you keep blogging about your life because I love reading about it! =) *HUGS*