Thursday, August 4, 2011

A half decade as a birth mom

"C"'s birthday was this last Wednesday, August 3rd. He turned 5 years old!! I can't believe I've been a birth mom for half a decade. It really seems impossible.
I REALLY wanted to blog on his birthday. But I started training last week for work. It is to prepare us for the new school year, which starts tomorrow.
Getting back into the swing of leaving Brielle and going to work was hard this last week, so I just could not find the time to post.

The last 5 years have been quite a roller coaster, with ups and downs. But as I look back, I can honestly say that I'm proud of the things that I've done in the last half of a decade. (please don't think I'm being vain or boastful). The first year was the best and the hardest. The best, because I met Sean. I met Sean 3 days before I was due! But we started "officially" dating when "C" was 2 1/2 months old. But that first year was also the hardest because I grieved hard. I'm the kind of person that grieves right away. I don't deny my feelings, I let them come. I've said this before, but grief and I have a pretty good relationship. (Does that sound bad?) I allowed it to come and it came hard, but I think doing that made me stronger in the end.

So what am I so proud of doing in the last 5 years you might ask?

-I met the love of my life. Seriously....I have THE best husband ever. THAT I can brag about! ;) We got married and sealed in the temple. So beautiful. Our relationship has become so strong in the last 5 years. I have spent MANY hours crying on Sean's shoulder, especially in the beginning. He always let me cry and always let me talk about "C" and the adoption as long as I wanted. I believe that Heavenly Father saves the best of men for birth moms. We need a very special guy to take care of us. And just to brag a little more, Sean proposed to me on "C"'s first birthday because he knew it would be a tough day. He wanted to make it special for me. I'm such a lucky girl.

-I have been apart of so much in the adoption world! More then I ever dreamed! Besides this blog, I'm on the LDSFS adoption website, I've participated in birth mom panels, spoke to church leaders, had birth mom groups, was on a special program in between conferences this last April. Heavenly Father has blessed my life so much in allowing me to share my story.

-I met my own birth mother soon after I placed "C"! It has been so wonderful to talk to her and to share this experience with her.

-I went back to school!! I dropped out right after I had "C" but went back 2 years ago. Two classes away from my bachelors!!

-We bought our first home! We have LOVED being homeowners. It is such a fulfilling feeling to own your home.

-I lost 2 babies. I firmly believe that I will see those children again. I never thought I could get through a pregnancy loss after placing "C", but Heavenly Father knew I was strong enough. He got me through it and comforted me as I mourned.

-We had a "surprise" in Cancun Mexico last March and conceived our beautiful and sweet baby girl, Brielle. She has been the joy of our lives. We are so blessed to be her parents. She went from being a sweet little newborn to a vivacious 7 1/2 month old who has so much personality. She is full of life and brings Sean and I the greatest happiness.

-And last but not least, I have spent the last 5 years getting pictures and letters of my "C" and I have watched him grow. He went from a very special newborn, to a HUGE and intelligent little boy. I had a special opportunity of seeing "C" when he was 4 days old, 2 weeks old and then 4 1/2 months old. I have not seen him since then. But I have been apart of him growing up. I have watched him grow and mature through pictures and seen him learn new things through letters. What an incredible 5 years this had been. I have learned so much and been so incredibly blessed. I went from a confused and scared pregnant girl, to a blessed and grateful birth mom. I hope the next 5 years will teach me even more and make my life as a birth mom even better.

Even though "C" is a big boy now, he will always be my "baby" that I held in the hospital 5 years ago. And he will FOREVER has a special place in my heart, right along side Brielle.

Now come with my on a journey through pictures of the last 5 years!!

Me and my girlfriend Jess used to have this tradition of taking pictures at this place in the mall everytime I came home from college. We couldnt let a little belly get in the way! I was due later on in the week.

My mom and I on my due date, which was July 29th.

About to burst!! My water had just broke...on our way to the hospital.

Monitering my contractions.

He's here! Thats my doctor, Dr. Baker. She also delivered Brielle! How awesome is that?! She is so great!

Holding my "C" for the first time.

Enjoying some time with "C" in the hospital.

Giving him lots of love.

Leaving the hospital.

Seeing "C" at 4 days.

Giving him love at 2 weeks.

And the last time I saw him, 4 almost 5 months.

I met the love of my life on July 26th, 2006. Began "officially" dating him on November 19th, 2006. We were so in love right from the start.

I met my own birth mom! This was the "first" time we met in person. I say "first" because we really first met when I was born! ;)

Married the love of my life on November 2nd 2007 and was sealed to him in the LA temple.

Bought our first home!

Found out we were expecting a beautiful baby girl!

Met that beautiful baby girl on December 18th, 2011 after only 3 hours of labor! She couldn't wait to be here!

She was the best Christmas gift we could ask for. (1 week old)

And our vivacious and beautiful 7 month old

She is such a goof.

And she is so beautiful.

Thanks for coming with me on this journey. I hope you are around to check out the next 5 years and see where my journey as a birth mom takes me!

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