Monday, March 9, 2009

Is it just me.......

OK, is it just me, or am I like the only 25 year old married Mormon woman who doesn't have any children! To the "world", most women are just now getting serious with their boyfriends or they already have a child with that boyfriend. But in LDS land, it's like it's a sin to not have children by the time you are 21! I feel so out of place sometimes. Like I have nothing in common with the other women that live around me because they are not only younger but they all have kids! And its nothing against them. I just feel like I'm outta the loop or something. I'll be 26 in August, and I feel young. But when it comes to the kid factor, I feel old! We may not have our first baby till I'm 27! Most LDS women have had their 4Th child by 27. I'm sorry, I'm just complaining. I would love to get pregnant now, there are just so many things going on in our lives, so we are waiting. I just feel so out of place sometimes when I see someone 2 or 3 years younger then me with 2 kids already. I know that my time will come when it's suppose too. I just needed to vent a little.

11 comments:

Olia said...

Do not worry Sierra it will happen when time is right. I did not have Nina until I was 27 too, it was so wonderful, though! Well, you know that part:) People have kids in different age, some have them when they are 21, some when they are 40. No matter in what age they come they are always wonderful miracles of life!

The Tomlinsons said...

Oh Sierra, I'm so sorry you're feeling out of place! I can't imagine how hard it must be for you sometimes. You are so strong and Rob and I admire you so much. You have overcome so much. If it makes you feel any better, I have a cousin who is 29 and cannot have children, so they are trying to adopt, but have been on the list for a year and a half. I know she has a lot of your same frustrations. I'm so glad you want to be a mommy so badly, and I promise you, when you do have a baby, you will savor every second of it! Hang in there:)

An Everts Tale said...

I can see how you would feel this way. Sometimes we got to think out of the LDS world because even though it is wonderful sometimes it can be so much pressure. To be married, have kids, have an adorable house, scrap-booking, be great at homemade meals etc. I remember when I had no member friends when I had Ethan and it was reversed for me. I felt so lonely, out of place, didn't fit in. But unlike my situation you have members in the church who do understand what you're going through. Try not to feel out of place. I sometimes wish I waited so I could be done with school. The Lord will help you with what you're feeling and when you want to start trying again. I hope I don't make you feel too out of place! :) And sorry for this novel!

The Fergy Bunch said...

I can see why you would feel out of place especially in the church. Just remember that it is all in the Lords time and when the time is right you will be blessed with a little one. I know it's hard to hear that, especially when you want children now but as I have learned in many things it is always in the Lords time. You are a great Aunt, I love how truly excited and happy you are for your niece & nephew - what a joy you bring to the hearts of those children & their parents. You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. There are those who feel out of place because they aren't married yet, then there are those, like you, who feel out of place because they don't have children yet, and believe it or not there are those that feel out of place because they only have one child, (my sister-in-law's feeling that right now). Just remember that you are loved and have so much love to give and your time will come! *HUGS*

Sean and Sierra said...

Thanks foe the wonderful messages everyone. I'm sorry for the negative post. It was just one of those "moments". I have a lot to be grateful for and I just get to hard on my self sometimes. I know that it will happen, I guess I'm just getting a little impatient!=)

Grandma Tomlinson said...

Hi Sierra! Cheer up! You have such a handsome husband and you are such a very cute couple. You have given up some of your time in life to give someone else a baby of their own. That was a true sacrafice on your part that blessed someone elses life GREATLY! That is what life is all about...helping others and making correct choices that will keep us on the right path back to our Heavenly Father. You have another baby that is waiting in line for "it's" turn to come to earth. One of these days the wait will be over and you'll have a wonderful new bundle to love. You will look back and know that it was meant to be that you wait. Life is short and full of unexpected turns. There is a reason and a season for all things. We have to have lots of faith that it will work out....and it always does.

It was so fun to see Ola and Tom's family (what a cute little girl they have!) at Eldon's wedding celebration. Eldon has grown up so much and has such a cute family. Ben is such a wonderful guy also. I love your whole family so much. Your mom and dad can be so proud of all of you. What good people you all are. I love you! Gayle

Ashlie said...

Dont let it get to you. God has a plan for each of us and those cute little babies will get to you when they are supposed to. I know the feeling though... Almost 24 and not married... Not even serious with someone. Somedays I'm ok with it somedays not, but I know it will work. Keep your head up hun. Love ya

Jake & Rachel said...

I can totally understand what you're talking about. I would probably feel the same way. But you're right about one thing, you ARE young and you have plenty of time!! I wish you were in my ward because we have tons of younger couples (not 18 year olds!) that don't have kids yet.

The Over Family said...

Hey Sierra,

I found your blog on Olia's. Man, it can be tough trying to live up to people's expectations, real or imagined, can't it? :) I'm sorry that you feel that kind of pressure! I felt exactly the same way when I graduated from college (in Utah) without being married, but I just had to wait a little bit longer to find my husband. I had Lizzie when I was 25, and my next one will be at 27...my mom had already given birth to all of her four children by the time she was 27! It's crazy, really. :) It has to be really hard for you, considering that you have just been through a miscarriage. I just can't imagine! The decisions that you and your husband make about children are between you and the Lord - ONLY. When it's right, it will happen. Heavenly Father knows what's best, despite what anyone else thinks. Hang in there! :)

Jenn Oldham said...

I know JUST how you feel. This baby will be born when I am 27 and it's my first. I work at a OB/GYN's office, and I feel so far behind all the other women. Oh well, we can be buddies =).

Emily said...

Hey Sierra...
Your time will come. Remember that the Lords time is way different than our own. Remember when I asked you if you felt that you had more babies waiting to be born?? Well, just know that you do. You are a true blessing and will be a wonderful mom and Sean a wonderful dad...No matter what your age. Hey, try being 45 (almost 46) and never even been married!!!! All in the Lords time!! I love so very much. You are a beautiful woman who has a lot to offer anyone who comes into your life!!