6 months?

At my appointment last Thursday, the doctor did another ultrasound for me and we got to see our baby girl again. We actually got a genital shot this time, though not a good one because she likes to move around so much. We got a shot of her sucking her thumb! So cute. But according to my last period, which is what they like to go off of, since they don't know exact time of conception, I should be 22 weeks 1 day today. Well, last Thursday at my appointment, my uterus was measuring 22 weeks, which would put me at 23 weeks today, or 6 months. Since I'm only 6 days ahead, they won't change my due date. But I have measured 6 days ahead every single time. SOOO....I should be 6 months today according to my measurements. So I'm kinda changing my due date on my own, which would change it from 12/22 to 12/16. I'm POSITIVE I won't go till December 22n. I have now POSITIVE that I ovulated early.

So, other then that, everythings great. I'm still tired, but I blame that on the heat. When I was pregnant with my birth son, I had severe foot pain from swelling just on the bottom of my feet, and I'm getting it again and I'm popping tums like candy, but I LOVE IT! I love being pregnant.

Side note: Sean and I started back up to work. We both work at a high school with the special needs students. Work could also be causing me to be tired. Working with 17 severe special needs students and pushing one around in a wheelchair all day can really take a toll. But we love our jobs. Sean started taking classes at University of Phoenix! YAY! I'm so proud of him. And my classes start back up in a little over a week. Only 14 more units for me! I can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel! =)

Sorry these are so crooked. They scanned that way and I didn't feel like rescanning them.

Our little thumb sucker!



It's really hard to tell what you are looking at, but if you look closely, you can tell she's still a girl!

Happy birthday to the boy that changed my life..

4 years ago today, I gave birth to my birth son. Could 4 years have really already passed? It seems quite impossible, but it's not. I look how my life has changed and grown in the last 4 years and I am astonished. Last night I was talking to Sean about my little guy and as we were talking, it hit me. Even though I was not living my life how I should of, if I could go back in time, I would not change a thing. Does that seem crazy?? Crazy to put myself through that all over again? Am I a masochist?

To answer all of those questions; No

The reason I would do it all again, pain and all, is because it changed my life. For the better. I learned to be unselfish. I learned the type of love the Savior has for us, pure. I learned the true meaning of the atonement because I actually got to truly use it. I learned that no matter what life throws at me, I can handle it because I have already dealt with the greatest type of pain. I learned that I will be a great mother, because I was able to give my "first" child the best, even though I couldn't give it to him. At the time of placement, all a birth mothers reasoning for doing what she is doing points to the child. Most of us do it for them, not ourselves. But as time passes, the lessons that you learn and the blessings you receive are unmistakable. I am so grateful to this little boy. I'm glad he chose me as his vessel to get to earth. He really did help change my life. I never thought something so small, such as a newborn baby, could have such an impact.


So, happy birthday to the sweetest little boy on the face of the earth. You don't know this now, but you changed my life. You don't remember this, but the day you were born, there were angels around us. Angels helping comfort me and angels getting you to your family. You are very special. NEVER forget that. The feelings I felt 4 years ago are indescribable and they are so sacred and special to me. I love you little guy.


The first time they placed in him my arms. The spirit that was felt at that time was undescribable. The angels must have already been among us.

Almost half way there

I'm almost half way done! I can't believe it. This next Wednesday, I'll be 20 weeks. The time has really been flying by, but I'm really trying to savor every moment. I've kind of been having a hard time lately. I pinched a nerve in my back from sitting wrong, yes....from sitting wrong, and the last 2 weeks have been tough physically. BUT....I love being pregnant. I love life growing inside of me. Even with being in pain and only being able to take Tylenol, I still try to smile and be positive. Because you never know what life have in store for you.

When I was pregnant with my birth son, I was planning on raising him at first. But for some reason, I was in no hurry to get him out of me. I've heard many women say, "I just want this baby out." But I didn't feel that way with him. I treasured every second that I was pregnant. I now feel that was Heavenly Fathers way of having me bond with him, knowing that I wouldn't have him once he was born. Well, I feel similar to that with this baby. Yes, I'm raising her, and no I don't think anything is going to happen. But this is the only time in our lives that it will just be me and her. Once she's out, she'll have daddy and grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. It won't be just me and her. So, I'm treasuring this time I have with her. This time when all she can really hear is my voice, my heart. I'm cherishing feeling her move and grow within me, because this may be the only other pregnancy I have. (I don't think it will be, but you never know.) So, I'm living this pregnancy to the fullest and really enjoying it. Yes, I can't wait to see that beautiful little face in person, but for the time being, I'm enjoying having our spirits bond and enjoying OUR time together, just me and her.




19 weeks and finally getting a little bump. BUT...if I suck it in really hard, my bump goes away! HAHA...but that's too uncomfortable, so I let it all hang out.

An early surprise!

At my appointment last week, I mentioned to my ob/gyn that I had minor spotting. It was such a small amount that I wasn't worried at all, but thought I should mention it to him. Well, being the great doctor he is, he wanted to get me in for an ultrasound the next day, in which we could also find out the sex of the baby. Even though the baby was refusing to cooperate most of the time, we found out we are having......

A GIRL!!!!

We don't have any genital shots because she literally only let us look for a second before she stuck her foot back in her crotch. But we are thrilled! I had a feeling it was a girl. Sean thought it was a boy until the doctor told us we were going to find out the sex the next day. He said he immediately thought, we are going to have a girl. The spotting turned out to be nothing. Just one of those things. So, we found out Friday and decided to have a "sex reveal bbq" on Sunday. This was very hard on my mom to have to wait 2 whole days! But I decided that you never know whats gong to happen in life, so you need to make the most of it. I wanted to celebrate this baby because we have waited so long for her. Our bbq was a success and really fun. We had everyone guess what they thought the baby was. It was a dead even. We had a cake that was pink, so when we cut it and turned around, everyone knew it was a girl.


Her pretty profile


Her feet


Waving to mommy and daddy


The cake...it doesn't look that great but tasted YUMMY!!



When we turned around...surprise..the cake is pink!


Some of our guests. We fit over 20 people in our little house...but it was great to have the company to celebrate our little girl.


Some of my lady friends

We probably won't have another one of these because my mom about had an anxiety attack. I just think that Sean and I will have to go out and celebrate on our own next time.

Is there REALLY a baby in there?

By the looks of my stomach, you wouldn't think so!



Here I am today at 16 weeks 2 days. My waist is definitly thicker. Pants are nice and tight and I even finally broke down and bought some maternity jeans...at Forever 21! Yes, they have a maternity line now! But I'm just waiting for that day when I "POP".

I'm not worried that I haven't REALLY started to show yet. I'm quite aware that I have child bearing hips and a baby can hide quite well in between these hips of mine. I'm just tired of feeling bulky and I want to really feel and look pregnant.

Oh and P.S. I felt some movement last night. I would count it as the first real movement that I've noticed. =)

YAY for growing babies!

So, Im 14 weeks today and I have officially entereted my 2nd trimester! YAY!! It is still so hard for me to believe! Here are some of my stats from my 1st trimester.

When did you find out you were pregnant? April 17th. I only took a test because the day before, I got a massage and when I layed down on the table, my ta-tas were KILLING me! A light bulb went off in my head at that moment.

Whats your due date? December 22nd. I always vowed I'd never have a Christmas baby. But now with everything I've experienced, I can't think of a better Christmas gift!

Morning sickness? OH YEA!! It kicked in early at 5 weeks and lasted till 12. It had my couch ridden for many afternoons. It got really bad at the end, around 10 weeks and literally disappeared at 12. Although I still get nauseous when I'm really hungry.

Weight gained? 3 lbs. I'm trying really hard to not gain 1 million lbs but it was hard those first weeks being so sick to wanna get up, let alone excerise.

Hows the fatigue? It's good that I'm not sleeping for 12 hours anymore, but I'm still pretty tired.

Felt the baby move? I thought I felt "fluttering" the other day, but I wasn't sure. I felt my birth son at 16 weeks, so I'm expecting to feel this one soon.

Maternity clothes yet? Nope!! I can still wear my regular jeans. I don't look pregnant. Just thicker in the waist. Pregnancy is when I'm very grateful to have wide hips. The baby has lots of room in there!


I'm still peeing every 2 seconds and cry over silly things, but it's so great! I have now had 2 ultrasounds and heard the heart beat twice! I feel extrememly blessed!This pregnancy has been different then my first one, which I will probably blog about later, but it's such an amazing experience. I'm really trying to enjoy every second because I don't want to miss out on anything. Sean has been do great too. He did everything around the house when I was so sick and never complained. And he was always checking to see if I needed anything. Like when he went looking for chicken noodle soup for me at 11 pm!

And speaking of Sean, he gave me an early birthday present. 2 months early, but I don't care. He got me an SLR camera!! My first camera with a lens! I'm so excited to start really using it!

This the camera but I got this picture off the internet. I just got it last night, so I still need to really play with it. Isn't my hubby great??

So....I guess I drank some of that water!

Remember my post a little while back about something being in the water because I knew a MILLION pregnant people? Well, apparently I drank that water too! That's right.... we are expecting!!!

It's been very hard keeping this in, but I knew it was something we wanted to wait to share. First off, this came to us as a complete surprise. We were waiting one more month because of the miscarriage I had in Feb. And it happened in Cancun, which also was a surprise, because I wasn't suppose to ovulate until 2 days after we got back (sorry for the details).

First appointment went great. I thought I was going to die before my appointment, because I was so nervous they were going to tell me something bad. But the baby was measuring 6 days early, and everything looked perfect. I had my 2nd appointment today. Sean couldn't make this one because of his 2nd job, so my mom joined me. And since my nurse practitioner loves grandmas, she did another ultrasound for us! The baby was kicking and moving like crazy!! I'm 13 weeks today, but the baby is measuring 13 weeks 3 days. Heartbeat was perfect at 165, and this appointment really put a lot of my fears aside.

I've been really sick this pregnancy. I don't vomit, but I would get so nauseous, that it would make me weak. Lets just say, must days after work, you could find me on the couch for the remainder of the day. But it's all worth it. I started feeling better a week ago, and then I got a sinus infection and slight bought of bronchitis. So, I felt sick from that. But I am overjoyed. I'll take the fatigue and nausea any day, if it means I get to me a mommy.

And whats really interesting to me, when I wrote that post that I healed and excepted a lot of things in Cancun, I had no idea this was coming. It was almost as if Heavenly Father was waiting for me to except whatever He had in store for me. Some days, I still can't believe it. But I know this is truly a blessing. 5 years after I got a taste of motherhood with my first pregnancy, I finally get to have a baby of my own.


Our baby at 13 weeks

My last post was about Color Free and once again, I'm going to be the proud wife. Sean and his group did AMAZING at their show at the Key Club!!! I was SHOCKED!!! I've seen them perform at little things, but never like that. It was as if Sean was a different person. Which he is...he's iLLi on stage. I was so proud! Well, Color Free has 2 more shows coming up. One on June 13th at the Zanzibar in Hollywood. I will not be able to attend that one. Their next show is June 18th at the House of Blues in Hollywood and that show is FREE!!! Yes I said FREE!!! So, you all better be there!! Can' beat a free show!! Come see how amazing Sean is on stage!



And here is my hot rapper husband iLLi (aka Sean)

Lets Rock Out Tonight!

Sean's group, Color Free is having their first BIG performance tonight. They have performed but not at this level. They are playing at The Key Club tonight in Hollywood. They are opening for Grammy nominated R&B singer Jon B. I'm SOOO proud of him and his fellow group members. They have worked so hard to get where they are at. And we have both sacrificed a lot of time away from each other so he could pursue this dream. So good luck Color Free......and lets rock out tonight!!

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day to my own beautiful mother. When I was a little girl, like 3 maybe? My mom would ask me who my best friend was, and I would say, "My mommy". She is still my best friend. We had a rough patch in high school, but what mother/daughter duo doesn't? When I had an unplanned pregnancy, instead of yelling at me, my mother was full of compassion and support. We have only grown closer and I am so grateful for the many lessons she has taught me.

Happy Mothers Day to my mother in law Pam! She raised an amazing son, who turned into a wonderful husband. She taught Sean to always respect and love women, and Sean is such a gentleman. She has welcomed me into the family with open arms and I love her dearly.

Happy Mothers Day to my birth mom Emily! Emily is a birth mom and a mother to my biological half brother James. She gave the ultimate sacrifice for me. We have a wonderful relationship now and I'm so grateful that she is a part of me life. Love you Emily!

And last but not least, Happy Mothers Day to my births sons mom, Mrs S. Mrs S is truly amazing. She is so thoughtful of me and is everything I wanted in a mother for my little guy. She is a great example to me and I truly feel as though we are eternally connected.

I hope all the other mommies and mommies to be have a beautiful day. And to the women that have not had the chance to be a mommy yet, you are a great influence in the lives of everyone around you and you too are a wonderful woman!